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Venting and Ranting...LOTS of it So, where to start. How about with this? If you're offended by swearing (I'm looking at you Angel) then for your own good, click the back button and go somewhere else. If you stay, I can say that you're been warned. So, let's begin. Yesterday...or to be more precise, last night, I was coming home from that fucked up driving school class with my mom and my sister in the car. As we pull up the driveway, my sister says; brightly I might add, "Don't forget you have to take out the garbage today." In a calm and quiet voice, I respond to that with, "Why can't you do it?" My sister stays silent and my mom basically tells me, "Don't start that shit now." So I set about taking out the garbage, getting madder in the process when I realize that someone had tossed in the kitchen trash without putting in a fresh garbage bag. Why didn't they do it? I have no fucking clue. At most, it's the work of a mere minute...and yet, they can't be bothered. Oh and while doing this, I get told by my mom basically, "why can't you do it with a smile?" Well, that was enough to piss me off but did I say anything? No. Even though I think it's completely fucking retarded. Listen, since my dad left and even before for that matter, my sister has fallen into the whole 'modern' woman deal. Which is, a woman's place is NOT solely in the kitchen and the house. A man should be able to do the dishes and vacuum and so on just as well. You know what? I TOTALLY agree with that. I have no problems with it whatsoever...what most women FAIL to realize is that it's a two way street. So sure, if you've worked all day, sure, I'll do the dishes and so on. However, consider yesterday, I left for driving school at 4:30 and I get home at about 10:30. The first thing anyone tells me? Throw out the trash. My question is, why can't they do it? If a man can do a woman's work, a woman should just as easily be able to do a man's work right? My sister was at home...she could have done it at any time but...didn't. Just left it for me. Why? I'll bet that I can figure out her reasoning. She left it because throwing out the trash every week is 'MY' job. Just like mowing lawn now and then. So fucking what? Making dinner and washing dishes used to be YOUR job. And even then, whenever you happened to ask me nicely to do em, I did them without complaint. Hell, even when you didn't ask nicely, I did them. I will bet you ANYTHING you want that if I were to ask my sister to throw out the trash or mow the lawn, she'd do nothing but give me a puzzled look and tell me, "Why? That's your job." So, that basically forms the basis of why I'm so fucking pissed right now and brings me to today. Mom and sister goes to work, I stay home all day. They come home at seven and the first thing she does? My mom calls me down in a real pissed off voice and calls me into the kitchen. She waves at the huge pile of dirty dishes and basically says, "Isn't this a bit much?" Without words, basically saying, "You were at home the whole fucking day while me and your sister worked...the least you could've done is do the dishes!" What did I think? What the fuck is your problem? The dishes were this bad last night after dinner and I didn't see you in any rush to do them? Same with my sister so why you gotta be bitching at me now about it? Why not last night? Or why not get my sister to do them? But regardless of the fact that the whole thing strikes me as ridiculously unfair, what do I say? Nothing. What do I do? I turn and without a word, I start to wash the fucking dishes. Oh, and does she fucking ASK? No. She commands...like I'm a fucking slave or the dog. If she had simply ASKED I wouldn't be as fucking pissed as I am now. If she hadn't bitched at me about something that was HER fault for not taking care of the night before, I wouldn't be pissed. But no, she's just got to fucking howl and bitch about it. Would ASKING me for just fucking ONCE be too hard? I mean, for christ's sake, do you not know how ASKING someone to something works? I can tell you right now that it works a whole lot better than fucking bitching and commanding. So...resisting the urge to tell her to fuck off for treating me like shit, I do the dishes. So I finish, and while drying my hands, she calls me again. "I want you to vacuum the house...start with your room and do your sisters room, then the stairs, the basement and the living room..." Thank you but I learned how to vacuum a long fucking time ago. You don't gotta keep telling me exactly where to go you brain dead moron. I turn to leave and get the vacuum and she calls me back, all pissed off as shit. "Why are you leaving when I haven't finished talking? Do you know what I'm gonna say? No. Stay to the end!" Once again resisting the urge to fucking cuss her off to her face, I stay quiet and just listen. What does she say? "I'm going to use the steam vacuum later so make sure you do it cleanly." Thinking that she couldn't have raised all that fuss for something so little, I wait. She gives me another look. "What? I'm done. Go vacuum." My fucking Christ I think this woman is TRYING to piss me off and make me snap. So I vacuum everywhere I take care of. I hit the basement and see something else that pisses me off. The laundry is hanging there...why? Not because it's not dry but because nobody folds it and puts it away. When was the laundry done? Maybe 5-6 days ago. And it still hangs there for NO other fucking reason than because nobody folds it and puts it away. Now, I COULD take care of that but what will that mean? The next time they do laundry, they'll leave it...thinking that eventually, it'll just get done. My fucking christ... I finish the vacuuming and NOW, mom says shit like, "oh you did good, oh good job." Please. What the fuck do I look like to you? A fucking dog? Now, after she gets all her bitchy fury out of her system, she acts all nice to me expecting me to put it behind me as well? Fuck that shit. I'm not like that. Do I look like a fucking dog to you? Being nice to everyone just to have them be nice to me? No. Fuck that shit. If I'm pissed at you, you'll fucking know it, I have nothing to hide. And that's another thing. My mom thinks that I'm selfish. Why? Because I don't put on a false happy face when I'm sad/depressed/pissed. Her reasoning, it makes it easier for the people around me if I act happy all the time. Sure, it'll do that but fuck that. If I'm not feeling happy why the fuck should I pretend to be? She thinks I'm selfish because I always try to deal with MY problems on my own, because I never turn to her when I have problems. That's some fucking contradictory bullshit right there. She wants me to always act happy so she won't get upset that I'm sad and yet, she's mad cause I don't open up to her about my problems? Where's the fucking logic in that? Oh, and what she FAILS to fucking realize cause she's so dense is that I DO NOT MIND HAVING PEOPLE TURN TO ME FOR THEIR PROBLEMS. Expecting people to handle their own problems...I only apply that to ME. If you're someone I'm close to, I won't just 'not mind' when you turn to me, I'll listen to whatever you have to say, try my best to comfort you and if all else fails, I'll let you know that no matter what happens or how it turns out, I'll still be here as your friend if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you need to vent. Well, too bad for her, she doesn't fall into that category. So fuck that and fuck her. I'm not a slave and I'm not a fucking dog. I don't want or expect rewards and compensations for the things that I do although a little fucking consideration would be nice. I swear to God, if this keeps up, I'm going to snap... |