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I'll be okay... At the end of the day, when all's been said and done there are two ways of looking at life. The first important fact that serves as the basis of this realization is this; that nothing in life is pure. There is nobody in the world that is completely perfect and without flaw and there are no purely evil men either. There is absolutely nothing in the world that is all good or all bad. As soon as I came to the realizatin of this fact, I also realized that life would always have it's ups and downs. Back as a little kid, I didn't think about stuff like this at all...not very surprising. But then, I had my darker moments of life and believed that the proper order of the cycle was that something bad would always follow something good. It was simply a matter of contrast you see, having something bad after something good was all the better to make me feel like shit, because I was comparing it to my good mood just before you know? I ran into Carol and for a time, that switched around, and now good always followed the bad. This lasted until the event in which I was left lost and confused. Confused to the point that I had no idea what followed what...whether it was happiness that was supposed to follow sadness or if it was the other way around. Now...I like to think that I'm older and wiser and I'm beginning to realize that it was never one that followed the other...just that one didn't happen without the other. It was a small difference but a fairly distinctive one. The order didn't ever matter because there is always going to be happiness with sadness, always both sorrow and joy. Now...what relavance does this have to anything else I would say here? I have no clue. But you gotta admit, it sounded good at the beginning didn't it? I don't really know what I'm trying to say...just maybe to get across the fact to those of you that care that no matter how shitty life gets sometimes, I'll be okay. Things get me down. That goes without question and I'm sorry to say that it happens fairly frequently too. Things DO get me down but I'm still going...all of the things that get me down...everything to do with family, the seemingly one year limit on most of the friends I make...all of these things, they come and go don't they? They come and go and for that past 20 years, when all of these problems came and went, I was still sitting here when it did. I'm fairly happy now and hopefully, that will give me the strength and the drive to get through the next trial that comes my way, whatever it may be. If it does not...if I end up depressed beyond all measure, no matter what happens...at the end, I'll still be here. I'll still be okay... No worries eh? |