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Once More... So out of the blue, someone calls me up yesterday afternoon. For a minute there, I didn't recognize the voice AT ALL. Thought that maybe it was my cousin but after a couple more sentences, hey, lookit that. It's Carol :P What oh what am I supposed to do with this kid who keeps drifting in and out of my life at the strangest and most unexpected times? Simple answer? I don't know. I seriously considered just hanging up and never talking to her again. And when we met up to talk, I also seriously considered just getting up and walking away, again, to never talk to her again. But of course, none of these things happened and I stayed to talk to her. The same old story, busy, too busy to talk or call and so on and so on. But I believe her again as I've always done, and I believe the words that she says and I've started on this ride once again. Again, I trust her and so on and so on and so fucking on. Didn't I say that I wouldn't do this again the last time things fucked up and she left me hanging? Didn't I? I'm pretty sure that I did but then why the hell am I here, her friend once more? Is it forgiveness? Some measure of grace that lies within me? Stubbornness? My neediness? What is it that leads me to befriend this girl once more after everything that's happened? That makes me believe her now when I said that I would no longer do this again? ... My head hurts... |