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Yesterday Gather round children, it's story time. So I've been feeling like crap for the past week or so...right around the time Uriel (one of the few really good friends from school) hit upon the idea of having an end of exam/end of school year celebration. Odd that something like that would make me feel bad right? I mean, it's something to look forward to, a happy get together with friends and apparently, food that'll make me orgasm according to Uriel. But no, it made me feel horrible, mainly cause of the thoughts that came with it. I declined his invitation. The reason should be obvious by now but I turned it down because she was going. If she wasn't going, I would have been there but since she was, I couldn't. Uriel tried...and tried fairly hard to get me to go, hitting me with every argument he could think of and even at the end, offering to pay my way if I came (which means a lot to me considering he tends to almost always be strapped for cash), but I just couldn't. As a side note, if it's your well intentioned idea to message me or email me or call me with reasons why I should go regardless of her presence, telling me that I need to start seeing her to get over her better, telling me that I don't have to talk to her if I don't want to, telling me that it won't be as bad as I think it will...please, spare me. I know that you probably have my best interests in mind, I know that you may even be right but it's not something that I'm up to dealing with. I'm trying to get over her...I don't think that it will help much to spend an evening having to see her all dressed up and just...looking beautiful >.< So I felt like crap...what else is new? I dreaded this weekend approaching because the whole thing would be on my mind...because I would probably be doing nothing but sitting at home all weekend with nothing TO do but think of it. Who do you think came through for me? After hearing of it, who do you think called me up and dragged me out last night? David was pretty pissed off during the week cause of certain things pertaining to his ex (who happens to be my cousin) and wanted to rant and after he was done, I moaned and whined about the fact that I wasn't going to this end of exam celebration because I figured that since she stresses out over exams more than I do, she needed this night out with the gang more than I did...and because I wanted her to be comfortable (and she probably IS more comfortable without me there... -.-), and finally because I don't think that it would have done ME any good to see her at this point. So there were plans have a night out with a few of his friends. Of course, when my mom heard of this, she pissed both of us off quite a bit with her "I don't like having you going out with his friends...what if they're bad people? You shouldn't be hanging around people like him and his friends." Like...frig, yes he used to run with a fairly bad crowd but that was back in high school and he's left most of those people behind. What does that such concern say about his ability as a friend to watch out for me and what's that say about MY ability to assess other people? He wouldn't intentionally let anything bad happen to me and I think I'm old enough to pick and choose who I want to hang around with. Brushed her off, went out and had a great freaking time. There were...about 8 of us for dinner. We went to this all-you-can-eat korean BBQ place down around Midland and Finch. The food, while it wasn't extraordinary, was far from bad and there was a lot of it, and it was only like $10 too. There was one of those little BBQ grill things built into the center of the table so we let "master chef Dave" cook the meat with his tongs of doom and joked about all of us keeling over from salmonella before the night was done. With Fonze and his seemingly inexhaustable fund of horrible jokes (Q: what's worse than having a splinter in your foot? A: The Holocaust) and Chris with HIS unending quotes and accents, it was a fun dinner. I was laughing through most of it. David started yelling and cursing in korean at the meat and at Fonze and Chris and Izzy and me being the only other person there who could understand what the heck he was saying, it was amusing. Another highlight would be David trying to get Fonze to say "I love penis" in korean. We split up about half and half, the first half of folks heading home and the other half (one that I was with) heading to a pool hall. Stayed there for a couple of hours, joking around, playing pool and a few drinks. Fonze and Dave showing off their "jello dance" (F: Hey Dave, you hungry? *begins wobbling and shaking his arms* CAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELLO!) and ended up getting home at about half past midnight. It was a good night. Kept my mind off of things for a time and even having my mom yell at us for staying out late and making her worry didn't put much of a dent in it (gee, how about YOU stop occasionally coming home around midnight without a single word of warning on a weekday and stop making ME worry that you got into a bloody accident on the highway and I MIGHT consider your request). My sister changed all of that. She wanted to know about the GAP thing that I did for him a few weeks ago that I wrote up about. You remember? He needed me to return some less than legally obtained clothes back to the GAP and pass him the cheque that came in the mail a few days ago for the $400 in clothes that I returned. I thought nothing of it at the time, and still think nothing of it now. I KNOW, not guess, not suppose and not hope but KNOW that if there was any chance of repercussions from me helping him this way, he wouldn't have asked me of all of his other friends to help him with it. Furthermore, if on whatever slight chance, something bad DID spring from me doing him this favor, I know that he would bail me out of it whatever it would take, whether it be him taking the fall for it and lying to say he used my name and address or by paying for any sort of fines or penalties that might pop up, I KNOW that he would do this because he was the source and he can be responsible for his own actions. I KNOW this and I trust it implicitly the way I trust gravity to pull me to the ground. He got reamed out for daring to ask me, his good friend, for this one favor in the midst of EVERYTHING that he's bloody done for me, my sis, and my mom without complaint. I got my own share of it for being stupid enough to agree to do such a favor for him. So excuse me for wanting to in SOME WAY pay him back for all of the times he's helped around this bloody house so that they wouldn't have to do as much, excuse me for wanting to in some way pay him back for the various times he's paid my way when we went out for dinner, drinks, or a movie because he knew that my prudence and desire to save money wouldn't let me go out with them otherwise. For all of this and more, I tried to do SOMETHING as compensation...and what do we get? He's my friend. I would do for him pretty much any favor that he asked of me, much the same as I would do almost anything that YOU could ask of me. TO me, what he asked was sort of shady and gave me a sort of "dunno why you're asking me when I'm sure you have better people around to do this for you but whatever, you asked me and I'm cool with that." It would sort of be on par with you three that live relatively near me, Jen, Juliette, or Joyce, it would be equal to you asking me to bus down to your place, give you a hug and go home again. I would get a sort of, "you sure you need me for this?" feeling but regardless of that, if you were to ask something like that of me, it would have gotten done. So ended the night. So ended the good mood that I had built up over dinner and pool. So ended today's plans of hitting that awesome lobster joint downtown for lunch (we agreed that we could only eat there when we were happy or we would ruin the great food) and based on how TODAY'S extended talks on the same matter goes when my sister gets back in from work round mid afternoon, so too might end the plans for going out to watch a movie tomorrow. Things seem to be going just...great are they not? |