|
|
|
|
     |
What a mixed bag... Gather round children, it's story time. I want to talk to you today about women...no wait, scratch that. I want to talk to you today about girls. Specifically, the girls that I've met over the past few months and their attendant stories. Let's begin with Sabrina. She's the "dumb" friend that I've written about before. Now far be it from me to be so judgemental, after all, I'm hardly the brightest lightbulb in the box myself but even so, there should be limits to idiocy shouldn't there? Part of her lack of charm and sophistication lies in her childlike outlook of the world. And I don't mean that in the alluring way that most people may use the term. I'm talking more along the lines of the petulant, whiny, and immature outlook of the world that most people discard around the time they hit their mid to late teens. This is about the time that most people begin to truly realize that the world and its occupants don't exist solely to please them and that they must learn to share their lives with those around them. She seems to have skipped this lesson. We all have our lapses back into childish behaviour, this is true. After so many incidents of the same kind of behaviour in myself, I'm not going to deny it. However, while others may lapse into this pattern of behaviour now and then, for her, it's the norm. She's usually petulant and sort of whiny with only the brief lapse into a more mature level of behaviour. Take for instance, an incident day before last. Around midnight-ish, after it had finally cooled down a bit in my room, I logged onto Conquer (the online game I play) and started playing. After the usual pleasantries were exchanged, someone on my friends list asked me how I was doing to which, I responded that I wasn't feeling so great lately. They asked me what was wrong and I said still in friend chat (so the message is sent to everyone on my friends list) that it was just a vague feeling of being "off," that it wasn't something I could really put into words. This was explanation enough for the person who asked, she told me that she knew how I felt cause sometimes she felt it too. She told me that she hoped that I would feel better and if there was anything she could do, to just let her know. I thanked her and thought that would be the end of it. Sabrina's on my friends list too so she 'heard' this entire exchange. She immediately asks me right after, what it was that was bugging me. So I told her (repeating myself) that it wasn't anything I could really put into words. Her response: Fine, then DON'T tell me then... :P Normally, when she responded in such a way, I'd whisper her (a way to send a message to just one person) and explain to her as nicely as I could that it wasn't that I wasn't telling just her but that sometimes, it just wasn't something I could put into words. That night...I was a little peeved and that drove me over the edge. Disregarded decorum and politeness, I started bitching at her in my friends chat so the following was read by about 10-15 people: "Look, what the fuck is your problem? Why do you always gotta be so goddamned bitchy? I JUST SAID that I was feeling off and that it was nothing I could put into words. Did you not understand that for some reason? It doesn't mean I'm not telling just you, it's not some code for 'please, keep bugging me and try to pry it out of me,' it means it's a vague, near indescribable feeling that I can't explain to anyone who isn't me." A bit harsh, I know but I couldn't help it. Due to Conquer's "one line of chat at a time" thing, this was done over several lines...all of which was interspersed with her saying "alright," "fine," "sorry," and finally, "look, could we please just stop talking about this?" Seriously...the girl pisses me off sometimes. And her occasional lapse into near cataclysmic stupidity doesn't help matters any. I still can't get over the fact that she didn't know what form of government we lived by (I answered "democratic") at which point, she told me she'd take my word for it. I asked her if she knew what democratic or democracy meant and she replied no. She's not some fob, I'm pretty sure that she was AT LEAST educated here from a fairly early age and she doesn't know what a democracy is. God save us all. While there's been nothing TOO overt, I'm fairly sure that she's into me. As I'm fond of saying, a lot of guys (me included) DO pick up on the subtle signals that women send...it's just that most times, we use that same subtlety as an excuse to not deal with it. Not that her signals have been all that subtle. She's begun a habit of telling me that she loves me anytime I do some small favor for her in game and she frequently greets me as "hunny." Amusing for me because the first thing that I think about is Winnie-the-Pooh. Maybe I've got this completely wrong but it seems to me as if she's trying to force something to happen between us by pretending that it's already there and hoping that someday, I'll just shrug my shoulders and go along with it. So there's part one of this little trilogy of anecdotes. Here's part two... I met "Tindy" (Ashley) at a Role Playing forum I frequent these days. Joyce and Juli, based on your little "Golden Key" thing from forever and a half ago, I'll assume you already know what this is. To those of you that don't, an RP forum is basically a message board where you create a character and participate in a storyline. For mine, the guy that's hosting the board provides the main storyline with where and who battles will be against, plot devices and all while the users create characters and begin writing their own stories, interacting with the battles and other users of the board. If you're still not getting it, think of it as a multi user Microsoft word where everyone takes turns writing out a single story. Obviously there are rules and such, you can't just use other characters in your storyline without their permission, you can't turn into some god of death in battle and mow down enemies by the hundreds and similar common sense constraints. I take part in this at the moment to excercise my writing and to experiment. The last incarnation of the board, I wrote out a character in the first person whereas this time around, it's all in third person. I use the board to keep my writing in shape and to try to find my preferred style of writing. I met Ashley there. She's a 16 year old italian girl that lives somewhere in the US, about a day's drive from good old Toronto. Apparently she "likes" me. This one though, I am forced to admit that it was mostly my fault. I can get very flirtacious when I'm in the mood and in the company of a member of the opposite sex who ISN'T psychotic and retarded. If you're reading this, chances are pretty good that you know exactly what I'm talking about as I'm pretty sure you've all experienced it. For the most part though, even when I AM being flirty, I try to be careful and let the recipient know that I'm just teasing...that it's all in fun. Apparently, that message didn't get through too well with her. Unlike Sabrina though, this one, I'm sort of agonizing over. I like her. Not in the same way that she likes me but in the way that I like you guys. She's fun to talk to, can be cute as a button, etc, etc, etc. The problem I guess lies in the 5 year age gap. Being this much older than her...I can't really bring myself to see her as a potential relationship figure...just as someone to be protected you know? I'm sure you guys all have some older guy friends that do their best to watch out for you and all...you know what I mean right? It's a sort of brotherly feeling which is nice...I like having people to watch over, makes me feel trusted and all. The salient points of the conversation are as follows (paraphrased of course): Her: ...and yeah, while I'm feeling this way, I may as well admit that I DO like you... Me: Tindy... Her: I know, I know...it was painfully obvious... >.< Me: Tindy, I'm too old for you :P You should try to find a guy closer to your own age... Her: You're only saying that cause you're 21 and I'm 16. When you're 30 and I'm 25, it won't seem to be as bad. Me: Yeah but I'm not 30 and you're not 25. I'm 21 and you're 16... Her: Yeah...I know... The conversation moved on from there and honestly, I thought I'd gotten through to her alright and I was at ease about the whole thing. Then about half an hour to an hour later, it's getting sort of late so she tells me that she's going to bed. Her last message to me was "goodnight sweet prince." *Instantly goes offline* ...Alright, so what the HECK was that? o.O Apparently...I didn't really get through to her as much as I thought -.- And now I'm sort of agonizing over that because I don't want to do anything to hurt her...she's a great person and all that happy stuff but just too young :P Anyway...just so we don't end this little story on too somber of a note, the rather brief third and fourth stories will be about a topic that I find endlessly fascinating... Breasts XD I've had a couple of conversations with some girls lately that's been all about breasts. I don't initiate these conversations, they come to me and start it but I find it highly amusing at the same time. Take for instance Sadie (I don't remember her real name XD). She's on Conquer as well, she was introduced to the game and introduced to me by her friend Stephanie, who was brought to the game and introduced to me by Lauren way back when I first showed the game to her. Sadie was in class one day (had her laptop with her) and we were chatting about random things when she suddenly asks me what I looked for in breasts...asked me if I liked them firm or sort of soft and squishy. Rather self conscious, I tell her that I hadn't really had much "hands on" experience with them and so I wouldn't know. Undeterred, she asks me what kind of breasts did I like to LOOK at then? Was it true that for guys, bigger was always better? I stopped to actually think about this topic (a pleasant distraction I assure you XD) and respond that I didn't know about other guys but for me, it wasn't really about size more than it was about the shape XD. She pressed me to be more specific, what kind of shape did I like? I took a step back to think about this...it wasn't something that I'd actually stopped to think about before but what kind of breasts DID I like anyway? XD. Eventually, I told her that while I couldn't really speak for other guys, I liked em sort of rounded, sort of like a drop of water on your arm. The conversation doesn't end at that though. She goes on to tell me about what SHE liked about breasts XD Told me about one time when she was feeling up her friend at a party (everyone being a tad drunk) and how she was really starting to enjoy it when her friend started touching her back until "the bitch pinched my nipples pretty fucking hard and killed the moment." That made me really O.o The fourth story is of a 17-18 year old girl I met the other night in game. She was in my guild and I wasn't really doing anything important so when she asked if any high level could help her level, I offered to help. While we're going around killing monsters, we talk a bit about sleeping habits and she mentions that she can never seem to fall asleep on her back or on her sides, that she's always slept on her stomach since she was little and now couldn't seem to fall asleep any other way so in response, I tell her that usually, I sleep curled up like a shrimp. A bit later on, she tells me that she was pretty tired...so obviously, I suggested that maybe, she should go to bed for the night but she tells me that she couldn't sleep because her chest hurt. At this point, I swear to you that breasts wasn't even on my mind. I was thinking more along the lines of lungs hurting and I thought she had a summer cold and/or asthma or something. I ask her why her chest hurt and I get this as a response: Her: Well, I've got a bad sunburn on my breasts Me: ?? How did that happen? Her: I was sunbathing nude all afternoon Me: ....o.O (insert pleasantly distracting image here) Again, it doesn't end there though. Before I could respond, she begins to tell me more. She tells me exactly where her skin's been sunburned, tells me what color her breasts have turned, tells me about how it feels when she puts on a shirt or tries to shower. Then after those (mind boggling enough in and of themselves) I get hit with this: Her: Oh, but don't worry. My nipples are okay. . . . WHAT...THE...HECK?!?!? My lord, did I ASK you how your nipples were? XD Why would you tell me such things? Does this girl have any idea what kind of images she's putting in my head? XD When there were classes on being safe while on the internet, this girl must've fallen asleep or something. She lives in Sudbury. Tells me that I should come over and give her a hug cause she's craving one. *Shakes head* Are all women like this? I log on again this morning for a bit before the sun starts boiling the world and I see her online so I help her level some more. That's when this bit occurred: Me: It's so hot in my room :/ I'm sitting here shirtless and I'm already starting to sweat. Her: Yeah, me too. Me: It's hot in your room too? Her: No, I have air conditioning. Me: ?? Then what'd you say "me too" to? Her: I'm sitting in my room shirtless too...minus the sweating. XD Me: XD Playing Conquer in your underwear ^.^" Her: Not even...just a pair of panties. Me: .... o.O The world seems to have suddenly gone all breast crazy on me. Slightly disturbing...but more in a 'pleasant distraction' kind of way. I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I'm enjoying these little talks that I have with people. I like breasts XD. I'm of the opinion that it just sorta comes with the territory of being a guy. But this sudden spike of breast related talks is making me somewhat suspicious... IT'S A SIGN OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVEEEESSSS!! XDXD Anyone else wanna blow my mind? If you've got a story to share about breasts, I'm all ears XD |