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You may not want to read this Recently, the people that I see most often have all been hooking up and finding someone. For starters, my sister is dating a guy named Sam. It's a small world...it really is, as one of Sam's friends is none other than Matt Wan who he met at Somang church a good number of years ago. Sis and Sam are really happy now. Sam's a great guy, considerate, kind, funny as heck and also korean. My mom seems to like him by the way. David and Bona are also doing great. They seem to really dig each other and I know for a fact that David finds her adorable, his mother loves her and she seems to really be into him as well. You may be asking at this point what ANY of this has to do with me...and the answer to that's relatively simple. Before the four of them hooked up with their significant other, we all used to spend a lot of time with one another, just getting together as a group on the weekends to chill or to go out somewhere for dinner several times during the week. This was before...but even now, after they've all connected, we still all go out to places. Mostly it's David and Bona going out somewhere for dinner and asks me along. I've tried to talk to them about it but Bona hit me with the argument, "so does this mean you're never going to come out with us again and we're never going to see you just because me and David are dating?" She has a point...I'd never abandon my friends when something BAD happens so would it make sense to leave them hanging when something GOOD happens? Thing is though, when it's just three of us, it seems like a date situation that I'm intruding upon, no matter how much they insist that I'm not. Can you guess how that makes me feel? If you said "uncomfortable," you'd be right. Same goes for Sam and my sister. The worst occasion that I can remember is when they were going out for a midnight stroll on the beach and my sister ASKS ME IF I WANT TO COME. I have no idea what she was thinking but my response was something along the lines of "are you kidding? Hell no." Their hearts are in the right place...but seriously, c'mon now. Oh and when all five of us go out together...what a joy that is. They mean well, I'm sure they always do. But what ends up happening is usually sis and Sam talk to each other, David and Bona talk to each other and I just kind of....sit there. Not even normal conversation style talk...but at least half the time, it's all a sort of low murmur. You can probably imagine how I feel, I mean, we've all been there right? They mean well and all but it's uncomfortable like you would not believe. So there's the story. How does all this make me feel? In a word, lonely. Lonely like you would not believe. But such is life eh? Almost never get what you want...and even when you do, it's never how or when you want it. You think that I'd have learned that lesson by now. |