|
|
|
|
     |
It had to happen My school week ends on Thursday night with a 3 hour lecture from 6:30-9:30. It's my last class of the week. I'd been sort of praising my luck in that I'd managed to go the entire week without running into her once. I should have known that it was too good to be true... Even before I got up to the fifth floor, I had a feeling. Just the lightest feather touch of unease about the class I was heading into but I ignored it. I could hear her laughter as I approached the class... What twist of fate would throw her into that class? To try and raise the chances that I wouldn't have to see her, I'd taken mostly the lower level courses for my requirements, expecting her to have already been done with them considering that this is her last year of school. She'd grown her hair...just as I did. It was longer now, no longer shaped with gel or mousse or whatever but just curled around her head and stopping at the nape of her neck. Before...her and some other mutual friends described her hair as the color of caramel but in the privacy of my own mind, I always disagreed. To me, it seemed more like the color of copper, coolling after it's been pulled from the heat of a forge. The fire was out now it seemed, her hair a dark, more subdued and tame shade of brown with the exception of a few streaks of gold here and there. She sounds the same...looks the same...perfectly fine and happy and at ease. I grabbed a seat at the back of the class. Spent most of the time trying to keep my eyes from drifting back to the back of her head. All in all, one of the least appealing classroom experiences that I've spent to date at university. We talked after class for a bit as we walked out of the building...just the same old jaded garbage about "how was your summer?" and comments about each other's decision to grow out the hair. Her tone of voice and EVERYTHING about her during that short walk screamed out to me that she felt like she was talking to a stranger, more, that I was someone she'd rather not talk to. Some of you may think I'm just being silly but don't you ever get that feeling sometime? That someone wants to push you away but is too nice to do so? Her voice held nothing...like she was talking to someone she'd never met before. It wasn't a happy experience...in terms of awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable, it tops the times members of the Chinese Christian and Culture Club tried to bludgeon me into joining their ranks. It was fairly dark...so I offered to walk her to her car. It's not just for her...I mean, I'd make the same offer to any female friend I ran into after the sun went down. Now I'm not sure that was such a good idea. She sort of brushed me off and said that she'd prefer to wait for the "Ride Safe" mini bus service thingy that puttered around the parking lots. Haha...was I wrong to offer? Oh yeah, also, there was a guy in class with her. He wasn't in the class but just sort of sat in for a while in the beginnning with her...would you call me crazy if I said I thought I saw something between them? Don't suppose I'd blame her though...guy was tall, athletic build, carried himself with ease, fairly good looking... Am I just playing the part of the jilted lover because it's what I think is expected of me? Deep down, I really don't think so...but I've been wrong about myself before. When does it end...? |