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Christmas Christmas is a rather contradictory time of year. On the one hand...tis truly the season to be jolly. There's beautiful snow on the ground (well, not right now but typically), it's crisp outside, it's the end of the year and a lot of mistakes made tend to be forgiven witht he turn of the year just around the corner. There are bright and festive lights up everywhere, people find it in their hearts to give in good cheer and there are PRESENTS, not to MENTION the time honored myth of the mysterious fat man in red that gives away free presents to kids that have been good. There are shows on tv that used to be on when I was like...FOUR and watching them brings back some crazy memories like Frosty the Snowman and the Rudolph claymation bit. In this way, this season is good; happiness abounds and people seem to find it easier to give. On the other hand... Memories are a burden for me right now. Spare moments tend to find me reminiscing on the fact that the last time I celebrated Christmas...I wasn't alone. Yeah yeah, I know that you're sick of hearing it; believe me, I am too. It's hard not to make the connection though when the contrast is right in my face near constantly. I find that as many people as I find celebrating Christmas for being such a festive time of year...I meet just as many again that get the "Christmas blues" and get all depressed during the holidays. Granted, these are the sort of people that get depressed around ANY major holiday but Christmas bring it out especially so. These sorts of holidays tend to shove into poeples faces of all of the things that they DON'T have rather than what they should already be thankful for. Don't get me wrong...I am truly thankful for what I have. If I'm nto as close to the more recent friends I've made, I'm all the more greatful for the good times that I DO spend with them. If I've pretty much cut myself off from my cousins for being idiots...I find that I appreciate the relationship I have with my immediate family, my mom and my sister (and to a lesser extent, Sam). If I find that I have no significant other to enjoy the holidays with...it helps me to appreciate the closer friends that I have who help to fill that void with their friendship and care. It is, I find, a balance of sorts. As I've noticed before...for every good, there seems to be a bad and for every bad, a good event to balance it out. Makes me think that maybe I should stop bitching, and moaning everytime something bad happens to me, secure in the knowledge that in an appropriate interval of time, a good event will occur to balance it out. And maybe I should work through the good times, preparing myself for what will inevitably come so that it won't hit me so hard. Gift giving is always fun...I've always had more fun giving than receiving. I usually have some neat ideas when it comes to present giving...but this year, I drew a blank. For family...my mom, sis and Sam, I ended up just chipping in with everyone for everyone else's gift. While I HAVE had ideas for friends...they didnt' come to pass for various reasons. No mater...as the pragmatic, I've decided that I'll just save these gift ideas for the next gift giving occasion to come. I'm just rambling now. I hope that you can read this and understand why I may not be as...merry and cheerful as I probably should be on this happy season but I hope that you'll understand and bear with me...hell, I invite you to give me a smack across the face if I carry this melodramatic shit too far. You guys help keep me grounded when my more dramatic side wants to get carried away. In closing, I wish you all a happy Jesus Day and I truly hope that you all find happiness and ease of spirit. Happy Wintersday. |