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Affection: I've Met a Girl... So...as all of you probably know by now...I've met a girl... I met her back in the past school year, my first year of university in fact. At the time, she was just one of those people that I'd say hi to if I saw in the halls or sit next to in class if there was an empty seat. I know that you guys know what I mean...that range of people who kind of hover between acquaintance and friend. Needless to say, this changed as the year went on, drawing to it's inevitable end. Instead of hovering between those two groups, she moved firmly into someone I would call a friend somewhere between the second session's midterm and the end of year exams. When the year DID end, as friends are wont to do these days, contact information was exchanged and for the most part, we went our seperate ways. There was a bit of...hmm...coolness I guess on my part. Not as in "damn, I'm such a badass" cool but more as in being slightly cold. Reason for this was that a friend of mine professed his belief to me that she had to be one of the most gorgeous girls he'd ever seen and that he was trying to ask her out. I know that some of you may think such action to be a "stinking macho" code of conduct but hey, we live in a stinking macho world so ya better get used to it XD. Over the beginning of summer, we chatted a bit over MSN, for the most part discussing topics of no real importance. Chit chat and small talk I guess you'd call it. Never getting especially close but just touching base now and then. At least...that's how I took it >.> I guess I don't really know how she felt or what she thought of all that. Eventually, I discovered the game Conquer Online and after I'd gotten started and was at a sufficiently impressive level of strength, I decided to go around and try to get some of my other friends into it (it's always fun to have people to impress ^.^"). She was one of the people that I invited to try out the game with me and pretty much the only one to actually start playing. After playing a bit, we were having a conversation one day about how people could get married in the game and their reasons for doing so and after a bit of a misunderstanding, she thought that I was proposing to her XD. I corrected her line of thought, got her nice and embarassed before I just decided to go for it. Main reasons being that she was a friend, someone that I'd brought into the game and it sorta fell upon me to keep her safe in it. For another...hey, how many of the folks in game could actually look at their wife's character and say, "hey, this person is REALLY a girl!" XD. Heh, don't get me wrong, I married her for the first reason, but I'd be a liar if I said that the second one didn't occur to me in the least XD. So we got married by the Love Stone at the Market...there were fireworks going off...I'm still not quite sure who set them off XD. So...we were married. As matters turned out, spent more and more time talking to her online in game and out. As time passed, I began to realize that I was being more and more drawn to this girl who was my wife in a game. Being married brought upon a false sense of closeness, just a bit of roleplaying I guess, except that closeness began to turn more and more real as time passed and the longer things went on. Things came to a head shortly after I saw Collateral with David. You guys know by now that me and him have a lot of gay jokes going on for some reason that's been lost far back in the mists of time right? Well, I started making comments about how hot Tom Cruise looked in the movie...and I won't make excuses for that...cause the guy is pretty damned hot with grey hair XD. Anyway, when I was talking about it with her, I was apparently being blatant enough to actually get her to ask me straight out if I was gay XD. But then...she let slip a little fragment of a comment then kinda panicked over it when she realized that I had picked up on it and quickly went offline. I went and discussed it with Jane who started getting very excited XD. Around the next time I talked to her...I pretty much flat out asked her if she saw me as more than just a husband in some game...AND SHE SAID YES XDXDXD. Ahem, anyway, that was just a recap of the story so far...it's the two times we met up afterwards that got me feeling I should be writing this down. >.> Before I go on...I just have to try and explain that this is all very, very new to me >.< As a result, I have no idea what to do or how to act and am kind of (well....REALLY) self-conscious about the whole thing at the moment :P. Closest I can relate it to in recent times was when I started playing Conquer. While I have a general idea on what I should be doing at the moment based on second hand knowledge, when confronted with something that I wasn't quite expecting, my mind shorts out and I kinda panic... >.> For instance, when I first started playing the game...there I was, a noob with a wooden sword happily smacking away at the chickens outside of the starting city. Suddenly, this one chicken I killed that looked JUST like all the other chickens dropped somethign strange. It was a big, glowing purple ball and it's drop was signified by a strange chiming noise that I hadn't heard from any of the other drops. I picked it up wondering what it was when whole craploads of pepole around me started chasing me trying to kill me, presumably because they saw me pick up that gay purple ball XD. How I feel around her sometimes is sort of like how I felt playing the game back then. What follows...if any of you call or message me about it to laugh at me, I swear, I'll quit talking for you for a week -.- The first time we got together, it was to watch Collateral (yes, again) with me, Lauren and her best friend Monnie. In the movie, there were some parts where Cruise just shoots people in cold blood...well, her hand kind of sought out mine...so I held onto it for a while, before I started getting all self conscious, wondering if she actually wanted me to hold onto her or if maybe she was just startled and I grabbed her hand....I don't know. I really don't -.-. I kind of got freaked out by worrying if I was doing something right or not so I just held onto her for a while before I let go >.> We didn't really talk about it afterwards and holy crap did I ever feel awkward about the whole damn thing... -.- Second time we met...was the same people, again to watch a movie (gotta think of something more inventive soon >.>). We were originally gonna watch the movie at Town center but went down to First Markham place I think it was called...some mainly chinese place for a confusing issue that I won't really get into right now. As a direct result of that, we went from planning to see the movie at 3-4 to watching the 7 o'clock show. No complaints on my part...I got to spend more time with her XD. I got more comfortable around her as the day wore on, we wandered through the mall with her arm hooked through mine for the most part ^.^". I gotta stop here and say what a wonderful feeling it is to have someone so close to you ^.^. As we went in to buy tickets for the movie and such...there was a point where Monnie had to go outside to make a call...her arm was still hooked through mine...and she lay her head on my shoulder >.<. God...no matter how hard I try right now, I don't think I'll ever be able to find the right words and the right combination of words to accurately get across to you how that made me feel... >.< In the theater, she kinda laid her arm across that little drinkholding thingy between seats, her hand was free...so I grabbed it XD. She held mine back and mmmm holy crap her hand is soft XD. I could feel her pulse too...and we pretty much stayed that way during the movie ^.^. Sigh...what can I say, this girl makes me feel very affectionate. I feel affectionate when I'm around her and when I'm NOT around her, I want to BE around her XD. I just can't help it anymore :) Still haven't gone out on a first date where it's just the two of us...I kinda want it to be special but my brain refuses to work in that direction. Anyone got any ideas for me? XD I don't know nearly enough about her yet to satisfy my curiosity but I'm sure that with school starting soon, we'll have more time to spend together. Heh...pretty much solely because of her, I'm actually looking FORWARD to school for once...what can I say? I'm lost ^.^ |