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Rant: English Ladies and gentlemen, today we shall mourn for our language, english, which lies broken and bleeding on the floor. I know that at this point, some of you may start to ask or wonder at my comment simply because the english language is nothing but a collection of words and phrases...how can it bleed? It's not alive! To this I will simply reply, WRONG YOU DIPPY LITTLE SHIT! The english language is and should be considered a living being as long as there are people to speak it. To this, some people may decide to boldly speak up, to voice their opinion that there's nothing really WRONG with the language, that it's doing fine in the present time no matter where it's used. To this again, I will reply NO YOU DUMB FUCK! I look out across the vastness of the world wide web and I weep for the english language, my beloved language that has lies broken and bleeding on the floor of the world. I see twisted forms of english all over the net. All sorts of weird shorthand online conventions and while SOME may be okay, the majority of them aren't. Let's look at some specific examples now. For starters, there's your standard online shorthand such as 'brb', 'lol', 'ttyl' and all that happy crap. Shit like that, I can tolerate, I mean hell, I use em myself all the time. This level of laziness, honestly, I can happily accept. However, what's bad about this is that it brings out the worst in the laziest of us. While the normal coneventions can be tolerated, the more...well, the more fucking retarded ones will not be. This takes me back to when my attention was first drawn to the blog of a certain someone that apparently had serious fucking problems with english. Here this guy was, and apprently, he didn't see any need for spelling, punctuation, or even the basics of grammar. His little 'conventions' defied belief...changing friend to 'frd' and good to 'gd' and so on and so on. So many more little shortenings and changings upon things that DIDN'T need changing. All I could say to that was, 'what the FUCK?' I mean, seriously. Let us attempt to examine the possible reasons why one would do such a horribly stupid thing. Hmmm...lemme try thinking down to that level....OH, I got it, cutting up words like that will save me EVER so much time. To this, I would reply: Dude...what the fuck? You avoid typing 2-3 extra characters...and by doing so, you save...less than a second? Maybe a WHOLE second if you're a really slow typer. Is it really worth saving maybe 10 seconds in a long conversation just to end up looking like an illiterate monkey? Is it really? Cause that's what you end up looking like when people read what you've written. I mean honestly man...what the fuck? Do you have ANY idea how fucking stupid you look when you type and write like that? I've heard people bring up the argument that sometimes, people write that way because they're fobs you know? Maybe they don't know any better so just back the fuck off and leave them alone! And maybe they're just typos, why you gotta be bitching at some stupid typos? It's not like YOU'VE never done it! Maybe they feel more comfortable writing that way, it's not like it's any of your business so just back the fuck off man...back the fuck off... Some people make me lose faith in the intelligence of people as a whole...the three arguments listed above are the ones that I hear most often in regards to this matter. To the first I always say, if they didn't know better, their essays and school assignments would include that same mishmash or letters that don't mean anythng...and yet, they don't. This shows that somewhere inside that stunted little brain of their's, they KNOW that it isn't proper and it isn't right...yet they do it anyways. That's intentionally making yourself look like a fucking moron and if you REALLY want to do it, go right ahead. To the second argument, typos don't work that way. Typos occur when your fingers hit the wrong key or if you're fingers move too quickly for your mind and they just hit some keys now and then cause they're bored. If you constantly make the same typo over and over and over, it basically means that either your keyboard is FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition) or you REALLY don't know how to spell the damned word. So scratch the second argument, it doesn't hold up. Let's take a look at the last one then. Some people actively enjoy butchering the english language to be 'unique' and 'cool'. All the more power to them. Do whatever the hell you want! Am I standing right next to you, ready to smack you on the head as you type? No, of course not...because if nothing else, I DO have better things to do with my time. But a very important thing to consider in regards to that last point...sure, it's YOUR choice whether you type like a fucking retard or not BUT while it may truly be your choice and your alone, don't think that I have no say in the matter. If you EVER try to talk to me or get a point across to me while typing like a fucking retarded monkey on crack, don't even DARE expect any kind of respect or thoughtfulness on my part. If you insist on typing like a moron, by all means, go right ahead. But keep in mind, if you're gonna type like a fucking moron, I fully intend to treat you like one. And on that note, goodnight. |