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The Last Day Part 2 Part 1 I'll miss this... I'll miss the tight hallways and cramped classrooms for as bad as they were, they were OURS... I'll miss cool quiet of the library as we gathered to study... I'll miss the smells of the horrible food we made fun of in the cafe... I'll miss the sounds that drifted into the cafe where we sat from the grade 9 music class... I'll miss the hilarity of the antics of the morons of school that made us laugh... I'll miss the sound of my laughter mingled with all of yours... I'll miss the cafe itself where I've held deep conversations with so many and shared so many laughs... I'll miss the clumped gatherings in the hallways on the way out back to decide what to do on a Friday night after school... I'll miss watching you guys trying unsucccessfully trying to keep yourselves from playing cards when you had a test the next period... I'll miss the stupid shit that you guys would say or do sometimes... I'll miss the chance meetings in the halls... I'll miss helping you guys hide from a teacher who's class you skipped... I'll miss the way you guys had of just being really funny sometimes completely unintentionally... I'll miss the days when we had nothing to do but sit there an talk about nothing... I'll miss the stupid games we played... . . . No matter how I look at it, I know that I will miss each and every one of you, my friends, my family away from home. And in some cases, closer to me than my family at home because from you guys, I had nothing to hide. I had no fear of being judged by you. I knew that I could always turn to you guys for comfort when I felt down and even if I didn't, I know that the offer was there. I'm going to miss you all so much...I doubt that any of you will ever know how I feel at this moment. To most of you, I'm fairly cold and that's mostly because I've never been to good at opening up to people and some of the shit I've been through in recent times does nothing to help that. But despite all that, despite the fact that I may not have been the nicest person, despite the fact that I've never turned to some of you for comfort, I know that you would have made time for me if I had and that means a lot to me. I'll miss you all...you guys, the friends of my high school years...for better or for worse, you've all helped me become the person that I am today. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for all of you and regardless of what lies in our futures, I thank you all for what you've done for me. I'm going to miss you all...your voices, actions, laughter and sorrows...they've all affected me and become a part of my life. You've all had an impact on my life...some, more of an impact than others but nevertheless, you've all had some effect, made some lasting impression and I thank you all for it. I don't know about the rest of you...I can't read your minds and find out what I mean to you all...but I DO know me and who I am. I will do my best to keep you all in my mind and in my heart. I will try my very best to remember those who are most important to me and the way you've affected my life. I never want to forget any of you...you've all meant so much to me and I don't want to forget a single thing. If I believed in a God, I would hope and pray that none of you would forget me either...but somehow, I know that it won't happen... Memories will fade. Soon, I doubt that anyone that I'm not in constant contact with will quickly forget who I am and what I meant. Somehow, that seems to me a fate worse than death...to be forgotten. It almost seems like they're trying to tell you that your life and your influence meant nothing. For that reason, I'm afraid. Will my life mean nothing? Will any of you remember me when I'm gone? Would you all forget me so easily? The last time that I see any of you, I will put on a smile and laugh out loudly, hiding the black fear in my heart that you will not remember. I am afraid of getting close to any of you for getting close leaves me that much more open to being hurt by the fact that none of you will remember me as time goes by...but at the same time, I know that I'm going to miss you all so much... Remember me... |